Thursday, October 26, 2017

Why I Still Take My Daughter to Concerts

Concerts are one of the few communal experiences you can share with strangers. What draws you to a concert could be a variety of things: entertainment, exposure, a deep love of the music. But the shared magic of a concert is indisputable. Even if you aren’t familiar with the music, the pumping bass and frenetic energy of the crowd draws you in. If you aren’t a fan, the experience can be transcendent. My first concert was my favorite band in junior high, Duran Duran. My mother, who was pregnant at the time, took me and tried to embarrass me by dancing and singing. I didn’t care. I was transfixed with the fact that I was in the same room as Simon, Nick, John, Andy, and Roger. Sure, it was a big room. But the moment was magical and turned me on to a new type of community. The shared experience of coming together to celebrate music, something that up until that point had been a more solitary pursuit.
I took my daughter to her first concert when she was 12 years old. We went to see Halsey at House of Blues. She asked me if she could go. I wasn’t familiar with Halsey, but I know how amazing concerts are and how important those moments can be. So we went. I became a fan of Halsey that night. My daughter cried and proudly wore her first concert shirt. I was so proud of her for finding music that inspired her and moved her the way music has always done for me. We quickly became a concert going duo. We traveled to Dallas to attend the Jingle Ball and see One Direction. We saw people I’d never heard of, and others I knew well. Looking forward to the next concert has become one of our favorite things. It gives us an opportunity to bond together, just the two of us.
Last night we went to see Halsey again. I couldn’t help but think of Las Vegas and the horrible tragedy that befell other concert goers. Concerts seem to be a target for destruction now. Which makes me terribly sad. The concert going experience is a sacred one to me. The fact that others have violated that worries me. Of course my mind wonders what I would do if a similar event happened at a concert I attended with my daughter. Have I prepared her on what to do in such an emergency? How would we manage a panicked crowed and screaming bullets? Am I being a good parent in even taking her to a concert?
The last question gave me pause. I know there are parents who want to shield and protect their children from such possible danger. And that’s their right as a parent. But I refuse to teach my daughter to live in fear. Yes, there is violence and chaos in the world. But staying home to avoid it is not a healthy option. Depriving my daughter of a life experience because madmen inhabit our world is a choice I will never make. Of course I want to protect my child. Of course I would die if anything horrible were to happen to her. Of course I will teach her how to be cautious and safe. Of course I will not deprive her of life experiences because of a perceived threat of violence. If I do that, the madmen win. And that must never happen.

These thoughts raced through my head last night as the concert raged on. Yes, it took away some of that magic for me. But being a parent requires sacrifice of light heartedness at times. My daughter danced and sang until her voice became ragged. She talked absently about the other Halsey concerts we’ve seen and how this one compared. She enjoyed herself. She was happy. To me, that is magic. 

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