Why I Love "Lars and the Real Girl"

I got to see this little gem of a movie when my friend dragged me to it. Well, he didn't really drag me. I love Ryan Gosling. He was genius in Half Nelson. But the premise of this movie seemed very odd. And really, you can't capture the magic of this movie easily. Lars is a dysfunctional man dealing with (or not really dealing with) a sad and tragic past. His brother, who is married and expecting his first child, is more than functional. The attempts to help Lars and get him to be more sociable are all failed. By everyone. In an attempt to deal with his issues, Lars orders a fake woman. A doll. Yep, one of those anatomically correct dolls. But Lars takes her around as if she's real. So what do his family and friends do? They accept her. They go along with the delusion. And as they work through the issues that face Lars, his "girlfriend" Bianca helps to transform the broken Lars. And in the end, he is transformed. Why I love this movie is manifold. First, it shows the pain of the human spirit. Lars's story is heartbreaking, and very easy to identify with - even if you've never ordered a plastic doll to help you deal with your troubles. We are all broken in some way. And the other reason I love this movie is it shows with great tenderness how much we all need each other. We may think we're ok. We may think we're all doing fine. But the fact is, some of us, many of us, are hurting inside. And it's really only through the efforts of the people who love us, and whom we allow ourselves to love, can we be healed. This is what Lars learns. And what the town learns. And what we, as viewers understand. I love this movie because a part of me is Lars. A part of me is his brother. A part of me is his sister-in-law. Hurting, confused, just trying to help. And frankly, a part of me is Bianca, the woman doll. A silent partner in insanity.

(S)he's Just Not That Into You

(S)He’s just not that into you…
I avoided this book because just the premise pissed me off. In high school, we had a guest speaker who came to talk to us about s-e-x. This guy was a tool. Basically said, “Girls, you have to control yourselves because boys can’t control themselves.” Oh really? What, are they just mindless animals who think of nothing but how to get to a woman? Whatever. Sorry guys, I’m not buying it. The movie came out and I was intrigued. First of all, there are a lot of good actors in it that I really like. Second, it appeared that the movie was a little more open about the plight of ALL single people, not just women. What’s fascinating about this movie, and makes it a little better than the average romantic comedy is that everyone wants what they can’t have. Jennifer Aniston wants to marry the guy who won’t marry her. Scarlett Johannsen wants to be with the guy who is married. Why? According to Justin Long, the “player” of the film: people do what they want to do. And people DON’T do what they don’t want to do. Pretty simple, right? Not so much. For whatever reason we’ve decided we need certain things. A soul mate, a partner, someone to love and who loves us. Sounds great, so why is it so hard? Because of our own delusions. Because of the early lessons learned. Who knows. The good news is that as I get older, it gets easier. And it was a good movie. Very entertaining and fun. But let this be a lesson - people really do what they want to do. And they don’t do what they don’t want to do. So if you are asking yourself “why isn’t (s)he calling? Why doesn’t (s)he want me?” Well, sorry, they just don’t want to. Move on and get happy.

MORE to (not) Love

When I first heard of the show “More to Love” (think the bachelor with fat people) I was very skeptical. Parade the fat girls around to make fun of them. Sure the skinny girls have their bachelor, so give the fat girls a bachelor too. The good news: fat girls are meaner than skinny girls. They have more to fight for, more to fight about. This makes for good reality tv. Fat girls cry a lot. Too much. This also makes for good reality TV. The bad news: fat girls are just as desperate, in fact more desperate, than skinny girls to achieve the so-called fairy tale romance. First problem with the show is along with the usual stats (name, hometown, job) a weight is also listed next to each contestant and the bachelor. Really? Seriously? Why do I need to know EXACTLY how much these people weigh? Frankly, I don’t use scales. Several reasons. I know full well when I gain weight. And if you don’t, you are lying to yourself. I don’t need a scale to tell me I’ve eaten too many honey buns or twinkies in the last month. The bachelor on More to Love is a total cheese ball. He reminds me of this guy I went out with once who had inappropriate comments for everything I said. Example – Joy: “I love going to the movies alone.” Cheese Dude: “You just haven’t met the right guy yet. Or, maybe he’s right in front of you.” And the cynical side of me wonders: wouldn’t he do just fine on a “regular” bachelor show? There’s something about TV cameras that turns women into rabid hounds. You could put this guy on the bachelor, surround him by a bunch of 100 pound twigs, and they’d be selling their grammy upriver to get him to choose her. So here are some basic problems with the show…and I’m not even going to get into the problems I see with these kinds of shows in general. Problem #1 – why does the dude have to be “hefty”? Wanna show something really cool? Have an average size man choosing love from a group of plus size women. Did you think of that? I mean, basically, what you’re selling us is “fat people need love…from other fat people.” Problem #2 – fat women are cranky, unhappy, pathetic, and not much fun to watch. Not that skinny women are much better. But if I heard one more time, “This is my last chance!” I was gonna throw my Little Debbie cake at the TV. Seriously? THIS is your last chance? Honey, call me. We need to talk. At what point did you realize, or decide, a reality TV show bachelor was your last chance at love? Problem #3 – it’s just tacky. It’s tacky to put people’s weight up on a show that isn’t concerned about weight loss. It’s tacky to parade all these overweight people around like they are circus freaks. Here’s the good news: after watching one episode, I am convinced that I am better off than any of these ladies. I don’t go on a reality TV show as my “last chance”. I don’t allow myself to be humiliated by proving my desperation to the world in an attempt to capture one fool. Bottom line: according to this show, fat girls are mean and cry a lot. Fat guys are schmarmy. If you have to say “I’m ok!” to testify you’re not drunk, you’re drunk. I hate to say it, but I may watch this train wreck. Because it reminds me of how well I’m doing.