My faves

Everyone's got a list. Here's mine. In no order with no particular set number. Horror movies, of course.
1. New Moon - Sure, I know I lose some street cred for my Twi-Hardness. But I like what I like. I know many do not consider this horror. Really? Vampires? Werewolves? Um, ok. I liked it. It's supernatural. Nuff said.
2. Drag Me To Hell - Many dissed this film for its lack of gore and general scariness. I enjoyed it because it made me think. Ambiguous enough to keep me guessing, but concrete enough to keep me on track. Saw it a few times in the theater, and that says something.
3. Trick R Treat - Filmed with a pre-True Blood, Anna Paquin annoyed me very little in this awesome flick. For one, she didn't have a southern accent. And for two, well, I won't give it away, but she KICKS ASS! This movie is a little gem. Loved it. Unfortunately, it did not have theater release, but I watched it many times on DVD.
4. Deadgirl - This makes the list because I thought about it. A lot. I don't know that I want to sit through it again, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.
5. Thirst - Proof that Koreans know their horror.
6. REC - There is very little wrong with this film. It is solid all the way around. One of the best horror films ever, not just from this year.

Must See Movies - January 2010

A few movies I can't wait to see in January. Typically, crummy movies are released in Jan/Feb. But every now and then a winner squeezes in. Let's hope for that.

1. DAYBREAKERS - I love all things vampire. So I've been looking forward to this for a while. Ethan Hawke and Willem Dafoe, who is just creepy all by himself.
2. LEGION - I am also fascinated with all things apocalyptic, so this is cool. Paul Bettany is bad ass. And that creepy old lady climbing the ceiling? I'm in!
3. DREAD - Featuring none other than Jasper...I mean Jackson Rathbone from Twilight saga fame, this is one Horrorfest movie I can't wait to see. Based on a Clive Barker short story and focused on people's fears. Sounds like a good time!
4. LET ME IN - A remake of one of my all-time favorite vampire movies, Let the Right One In. The original is based on a book by Swedish author John Ajvide Lindqvist. I LOVED the original/book and it's one of the best vamp movies ever. I'm anxiously awaiting this remake.
5. LEAP YEAR - I hate hate hate romantic comedies. But I love the Irish and I love Amy Adams. The only rom-com on the list.
6. ZMD: ZOMBIES OF MASS DESTRUCTION - I think the title alone is worth a viewing, but it's getting good buzz. Zombies seem to be the butt of a lot of horror/comedy movies. Maybe it's because they move so slow. Another Horrorfest entry.
7. THE LOVELY BONES - I do believe the release of this was pushed back, which isn't a good sign. I loved this book. Peter Jackson is in charge. It can't all suck, right?

A few tips: Torture porn and Asian horror are "out". Vampires and vengeance films are "in". If a movie has been shelfed for more than a year, chances are it will please no one.

Why you gotta be a douche?

So the latest word to call people when they are being rude, unkind, cruel, or any other negative word is douche. Douchey douche. Douchemaster. Douche bag, of course. So why are there so many douches? Everyone's gotta be a buzz kill. Everyone's gotta put you down to make themselves feel better. Everyone's gotta let you know what you do wrong, and how they'd do it better. Why? What drives the douche to be a...douche? Low self-esteem? Maybe. Bad childhood? Probably. No friends? Most definitely. But I believe what drives the douche to be a douche above all over factors is jealousy. In this online/plugged in/3G world it's all about who can be the wittiest, who can come up with the clever links, who can stand out. And the douche, crouching in the corner, wants the attention. The douche wants to meat. The douche does whatever it takes to dethrone, even if it's mean. So listen up douches: I know your story. I got your number. Get off my cloud, douche. You ain't gonna rain on me.

What's $ got to do with it?

My mother told me today what my brother's girlfriend will be earning next year as a 2nd year teacher. I will be starting my 14th year of teaching. FOURTEENTH. I have never done anything this long. And after 14 years of service, blood, sweat, tears, emotional exhaustion, countless hoops, and so on, I will be making less than my brother's girlfriend. Not much less, but still. I felt the pang that people must feel when they get passed over for a promotion or raise. My brother's girlfriend has a teaching position less than an hour from me. So you're probably asking, why not just go to that district? I mean, teaching is teaching right? Wrong. I have been at the same school for 7 years. I have a reputation. I opened this campus. I have been instrumental in developing our AP program. I have attended 100's of hours of training to be a better teacher for the students in this area. Going to another district would be tantamount to starting over. I would be the new kid. I wouldn't have the respect that I've worked so hard to earn. I would have to re-establish a reputation and working rapport with teachers, parents and students. Why is there so much difference? The state. Taxes. Complicated things I don't understand, frankly. Why don't I just suck it up and move? For one, I would uprooting my children. Second, I would be uprooting myself, even though I have many friends near my parents. How much inconvenience is $4000-$5000 worth? I just don't know anymore. Why do I even have to make this decision? I knew, from the very start, I would never make a lot of money being a teacher. But when someone with so little experience is actually making more than me, something seems horribly wrong. And it is irritating, maddening, upsetting, saddening. You name it, I've felt it. I will start this year and I will be a great teacher because I truly love what I do and want to be good at it. But year after year of being unrecognized for my efforts is starting to drain me.

Reached the janky limit

Seriously, I have taken an inventory of all the things I have that are janky. And I think I've hit the limit. Here they are, in no particular order.
#1 - The mystery van aka jankmobile aka Sugar Sue aka piece of crap. This is my car. I have to put a gallon of water in the radiator every day to get it to go. Within about 10 miles, she starts to overheat. She'll smoke, sputter, burn oil. When you turn her off, you can hear her hissing. Sweet.
#2 - My laptop power cord. I have to press down on it really hard to get it to work. Occasionally it will go in and out of charging. I wouldn't even notice, except my screen "power saves" when it's not charging. It's enough to give a girl a headache.
#3 - My cell phone. If I want to get on the internet, super! Surfs like a charm. But, after I get on the internet, I have to take the cover off the phone, remove the battery, replace the batter, and turn the phone back on in order to text, receive calls or make calls. Repeat if you go back on the internet.
Yeah, things are broken down and busted. Whatcha gonna do?

New Year's Resolution

School is starting soon. As a teacher, a new school year is like a New Year. How will things be different? What new and exciting changes are in store? I don't like to make resolutions. You feel like crap when you can't keep them. But the beginning of the year is definitely a time for reflection. So reflect I shall. Random memories. In no particular order.
-$1 well drinks, disco music, fabulous friends and dancing until 4am.
-House of Pies cottage fries. So nice it has to rhyme.
-Buying tampons with beer when I was 20 because I was certain no one would card a woman on her period.
-New Year's Eve. Birraporreti's. Pink Champagne. Conga line around an old, gold end table. Nuff said.
-Feeling CERTAIN that every boy, without exception, was the best thing ever.
-Writing every single paper, without exception, the night before it was due. Five pages. Ten pages. Twelve. Whatever.
-Writing papers for friends because I wanted them to go out with me.
-Having a different bar to go to for every night of the week, depending on the specials.
-Learning for the first time that the ducks don't care.
-Seeing movies at the River Oaks and the Bellaire and the Greenway that literally changed my life.
-Waking up throughout the night to feed my children when they were babies.
-Drinking beer, always on a coaster, at the Aquarium.
-Stupid, horrible apartments that were really unsuitable for tenants, being my home.
-Loving to grocery shop because I got to pick exactly what I wanted to eat.
-Buying milk, cereal, and beer only when I went grocery shopping.
-Running the breaks out on all my cars. Again and again.
-Indigo Girls concerts that made me cry.
-My heart being so broken that I couldn't sleep without the phone next to my ear.
-Discovering Bob Dylan.
-Being brave enough to let people know I'm not an idiot.
-Laughing when all I wanted was to cry.
-Walking around the musuem. Writing really horrible poetry inspired by art.
-Reading under the trees, near the fountain, with a flashlight under the covers, everywhere.
-Three pitcher nights.
-Stupid decisions. Worse consequences.
-Only having to do laundry one night a week.
-Falling in love with the wrong person. Over and over and over again.
-Letting go of something important in order to hang on to something more precious.
-$5 lunch specials
-REALLY cheap Taco Bell.
-REALLY good Dr. Pepper at the Taco Bell.
-Having to use public restrooms exclusively because my toilet was broken and the landlord wouldn't fix it.
-One first kiss.

A Few of my Favorite Urban Dictionary Terms

A few of my favorite Urban Dictionary entries:

Making clay - to have a huge dump

"Doh"ment - One of those slap your forehead moments when you realise that you've just done something incredibly stupid.

nom de strip - your stripper name

bro favor - Pronounced like the spanish "por favor", bro favor is an act of goodwill asked of one's "bro" or "homey".

birther - A conspiracy theorist who believes that Barack Obama is ineligible for the Presidency of the United States, based on any number of claims related to his place of birth, birth certificate, favorite birthday, or whether or not he has heard the song Africa by Toto.

cold jerky - The process of suddenly and altogether stopping a perpetual masturbation habit. Can apply to male or female.

pullin' a Palin - Quitting when the going gets tough; abandoning the responsibility entrusted to you by your neighbors for book advances and to make money on the lecture circuit.

Facebrag - To use Facebook as a platform to brag. Normally about a job, internship, trip, purchase or anything else that nobody really needs to know but you'd like to tell everyone because you're awesome.

joke poach - when a joke is said quietly to a friend and that friend repeats it loud enough for the entire room to laugh.

take a digger - Commonly used to describe an ungraceful fall.